14 Sep What Your Front Door Hue Says About You (It’s been gossiping with the neighbors.)

Red – You are confident, classy, and you tend to be ahead of the game responsibility wise. You were the first of your peers to buy a house and the first to own matching glassware. You never run out of propane for the grill. You never run out of clean clothes for work. You never run less than 5 miles each day. You might secretly be a serial killer but you are the American dream incarnate so no one’s asking too many questions.

Orange – You are modern, efficient, and low maintenance. Your last name has a hyphen in it. Antique stores give you anxiety-induced migraines and you have an impossibly gorgeous kitchen that has never been cooked in. You work in a creative industry and you will forever be in a long-term relationship though the constructs of traditional marriage hold no appeal for you. You order your toilet paper from Amazon because the idea of carrying a bulk pack under your arm in public is humiliating.

Yellow – You seek excitement and stimulation at all times. Based on the frequency of get-togethers at your abode the neighbors assume your home is an actual event space. Your weekend starts on Wednesday and you don’t understand the concept of downtime. It’s exhausting to be around you but people can’t seem to stay away, like moths to a yellow flame!

Green – You want to be different, but you don’t want people to think you’re trying too hard, but you need them to know that you’re special. Your home’s floor plan flows perfectly and it creates as much jealousy as it does admiration. You make a Pinterest board for everything, including what you will be eating for dinner tonight. You don’t attend music festivals, you attend concerts in the park, and no, your new silk printed scarf is not from Target.

Blue – You don’t actually want to own or permanently live in a house. You have wanderlust like a disease and you can’t bring yourself to buy real furniture for your living room as it would be the ultimate expression of anchoring down. Your friends know that dinner at your home means experimental cuisine eaten on the floor with limited utensils. AirBNB is your everything.

Purple – You are colorblind. Just kidding! Purple is the color of luxury, royalty, and indulgence soooo, you fancy. You prefer enormous furniture and there is a cozy throw on every flat surface of your home. A perfect getaway for you is to a bed and breakfast that will serve you pillow-soft bread with jewel-colored jams. You seek out gorgeous lighting and you can’t stop buying adorable aprons from Anthropologie that you will NEVER actually wear.

White – You are overwhelmed by almost everything and find it difficult to make decisions. You constantly rearrange your furniture, the contents of your refrigerator and your closet. What’s the best way? You certainly don’t know! You end up eating cereal for most meals because, decisions – no, and you still have yet to find your signature cocktail. Your white front door is the ultimate clean slate for which you will endlessly not decide upon a color.

Black – You are impossibly stylish, or rich, or both. Your friends always want to come over but you are typically out of the country on some fabulous buying trip for your enviable job. Your idea of a meal is a gorgeously arranged cured meat and artisan cheese board or a box of French macaroons. If you ever had a garage sale it would be the most highly attended sale of year, but of course you won’t because garage sales are so gauche. Le sigh.

Unhappy with how your door has been representing you? Don’t see your hue on the list? Let us know on facebook!